When I was first asked to speak at this mission about my faith, I admit, to say the least, that I was a bit reluctant. However, after thinking about it for a while, I realized that it was God's will for me to speak to you.

I decided from the beginning that, if I was to be a part of Renew, I would try to be open to what God was asking of me. Here I am saying as Mary did throughout all her life "Yes". In order to share what my faith means to me though I think that I should go back a few years ago to when I really did not have any faith. Even though I am a cradle Catholic, I was not raised in the truest sense of the word as a Catholic.

In a nutshell, I was not a practicing Catholic. I, like many others today, was raised as a "cafeteria" Catholic. I received all the necessary sacraments of the church without truly knowing the importance of them. Although I never rejected my faith or sought to look outside of the church, I certainly did not practice it in the way that God intended me to as a member of the church.

I, like too many today, was totally ignorant of the Catholic faith. I did not, even know the most fundamental question of human existence. Outside of knowing that God made us, I did not know why He made us (and that is to know Him, to love Him and to serve Him in this life so we can be happy with Him in the next.) From time to time, during the course of my life, I would ponder this question in my inner most thoughts and I would think to myself and ask "What does this life mean? What is the purpose of everyday existence?" To me there had to be something more than just going through the motions of daily life, but yet, I still did not know what that was.

Then, when I was in my mid to late 20's, things started going terribly wrong in my life. I made some very bad choices and one of these choices was getting involved with someone who was very abusive, sometimes physically but mostly verbally. Because of this abusive relationship, I lost any self-esteem I may have had and also my dignity as a person. I became isolated from family and friends because I did not want them to know my situation nor did I want them worrying about me.

And so little by little this relationship left me with a great void and a deep depression, which bordered on a nervous breakdown. Day after day I became more and more depressed. I seriously contemplated suicide. Finally one day I cried out to God in desperation and anguish for help. I knew I had nowhere else to turn. And in God's infinite mercy and love, He heard and answered me.

One day, while at work, a friend of mine, who was going through her own conversion experience, started telling me about prayer and how it helped her and could help me. And each day she would tell me about the teachings of the Catholic faith. Suddenly, everything seemed to be making more and more sense.

It was as if the scales had fallen from my eyes. It was like the words in the beautiful hymn "Amazing Grace" say, "I once was blind but now I see." That was me! One of the first things she told me though was that I had to go to confession. This is so key to any conversion.

It is only through recognizing our own sinfulness and how we have offended God and asking God, with contrite hearts, for forgiveness in this sacrament for the bad choices and bad decisions can we be healed. I had to come to the realization that throughout my life I was living an immoral life and in order to rectify that I had to reconcile myself with God in this great sacrament.

Although confession seems like an unpleasant experience, it really is (outside of the Eucharist) the most healing. There is no greater peace one can experience than knowing you have been reconciled with God and living in His good graces. Especially being able to receive the Holy Eucharist worthily instead of making sacrilegious communions, which I had done many times in the past.

And so on Christmas Eve 1991, I went to confession for the first time since I was a child. God is truly merciful. In all honesty though, I have to tell you that in the beginning of my conversion, it was quite a bumpy road and I fell out of God's grace quite often and I would find myself in confession more times than I care to count. But through perseverance, grace and trusting in God's love for me, I have been on an even keel since that unsettled time in my life.

Now I go to Mass on a daily basis and receive Jesus everyday. I cannot tell you how important this is in my life and how it helps me try to live out my faith as Jesus wants me to. I also go to confession every other week to keep myself in God's graces. Looking back, I don't think I would trade all the hardships I have gone through because I know I would never have gotten to this place of faith and love for God, if I had not been brought how only to be raised up and to open myself to Him and all His church has to offer. When I think of all that Christ has left us in the great church, His sacraments, the liturgy of the Mass, the saints, our priests, who consecrate the Eucharist and, if it were not for them, we would not be able to receive our Lord in Holly Communion whenever we wish. And last but certainly not least His most holy mother and our mother, Mary. I cannot begin to tell you what a key role she has played in my life and in my growing closer to her Son. Someone once said, "If you want to grow closer to Jesus, grow closer to Mary." What a gift she is to the church. All these are but a few of the beautiful treasurers of the Catholic Church.

I am so grateful to God for allowing me to be a part of His one, holy, catholic and apostolic church. I know God wants all of us here today to know His church and His sacraments are available to you also. All you need do is ask. Jesus says in scripture, "Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be opened to you."