When I was first asked to do a talk for today, I didn't hesitate to say yes, because as many of you know, I LOVE to talk! Then when we had our first meeting to plan who was going to do which talk, this one on reconciliation fell on me! Now I know for sure that the Lord has a sense of humor, because, you see, this is a topic that I personally have been having a great bit of difficulty with in my own personal life. Some people and circumstances in my life as of late have been, to say the least, an aggravation to me, and it's been very difficult for me to find it in my heart to forgive. But I know that the Lord is a good and forgiving God to me, and I need to find it in my heart to forgive those who have been less than kind to me, especially those who should be closest to me and aren't. There have been many examples in my life of people who were able to forgive even in the most difficult of circumstances and I would love to follow their examples. Top on my list, of course, is my dad, who recently passed away. Many of you knew and loved him. For all of his life, I never saw him hold a grudge, and at the end of his life, he made it a point to reconcile himself with all the people in his life that he felt he needed to be reconciled with, and I have to say, he was extremely successful in his goal. As a result, he was absolutely unafraid to die and he died the most peaceful death I have ever seen. Why am I telling you all of this? I think that many times in all of our lives, we encounter someone who is an example to us of what God's love must be.

There is a story told about a monastery that had fallen upon hard times and as a result only had five monks left. It was clearly a dying order. In the deep woods surrounding the monastery there was a little but that a rabbi used for a hermitage. As the abbot agonized over the imminent death of his order, it occurred to him to visit the hermitage and ask the rabbi if by some possible chance he could offer any advice that might save the monastery. The rabbi welcomed the abbot into his hut. When the abbot explained the purpose of his visit, the rabbi could only commiserate with him.

"I know how it is," he exclaimed. "The spirit has gone out of the people. It is the same in the town. No one comes to the synagogue anymore."

So the old abbot and the old rabbi wept together. Then they prayed together and quietly spoke of deep things. The time came when the abbot had to leave. They embraced each other.

"It has been a wonderful thing that we should meet after all these years," the abbot said, "but I still failed in my purpose for coming here. Is there nothing you can tell me that would help save my dying order?"

"No, I'm sorry," the rabbi responded. "I have no advice to give. The only thing I can tell you is that the Messiah is one of you."

When the abbot returned to the monastery, his fellow monks gathered around him and asked, "Well, what did the rabbi say?" "He couldn't help," the abbot answered. "We just wept and prayed. The only thing he did say when I was leaving was that the Messiah is one of us. I don't know what he meant."

In the days and weeks that followed, the old monks pondered on those words. Could it be John? they wondered. Could it be the abbot? Could it be Philip?

As they contemplated who might be the Messiah, the old monks began to treat each other with extraordinary respect in the off chance that one of them might indeed be the Messiah.

Because the forest in which the monastery was situated was so beautiful, people occasionally came to visit to picnic on its lawn, to wander along some of its paths and even now and then to meditate in the chapel. As they did, they began to sense this aura of extraordinary respect that now surrounded the five monks and seemed to radiate from them. It happened that some younger men came to visit the monastery and, taken by the love and care the monks had for one another, asked to join them. More and more came. So within a few years, the monastery had once again become a thriving order and center of spirituality.

As with most fables, this one also has a moral - valuing the other person as made in God's image. Like the five monks, until we realize the value and the sacredness of the "other", we live in darkness, but when we discover another and accept him or her unconditionally as a mirror of God, we become alive and vibrant. God created us to be in relationship, not to be isolated individuals. Think for a moment about which are the most important relationships in your life ...

Now think of which of those relationships we seem to have lost time for because we have been so busy with our own personal agendas. Or maybe we have been hurt in the past. Maybe we find it "safer" to be alone than to trust someone can love us. Maybe we have become too self-righteous. When we are being self-righteous, we become judge and jury of others. We claim that we know what is best for another and suddenly take on the role of God. We take control. But if you've ever tried that (and I have!) you know that it doesn't work very well. What happens is that resentments and anger grow on both sides. And what good does that do anyone?

When I taught in a Catholic high school a number of years ago, I used to tell the students my secret for forgiving people (or at least trying to) and it is this: if someone did or said something hurtful to me, I would pray for that person as he or she walked away. And this is the prayer I prayed: "Take care of her (him) Lord. You can do it better than I can" And do you know that it worked every time?

God created us out of a loving relationship and to be in good relationship with others. What we most need from one another in our relationships are truth and humility. Real relationships "happen" when we can interact with "the other' simply and can speak the truth without trying to impress or control, when we can accept the person as loved by God with all kinds of gifts and all kinds of "warts." Real relationship happens when we are humble enough to recognize that we don't have all the answers, when we recognize that "being right" is less important than the value of "the other."

Today's prayer from Colossians gives us some clues on what's key for healthy relationships: respect, compassion, patience, forgiveness, wisdom, thankfulness. As we gather here today, we have a wonderful opportunity to reflect on how we act in our relationships, especially close relationships of family and significant friends.

Let's take some time now to look at our responsibility to reconcile our differences. I just ask you to close your eyes if you feel comfortable doing so. Relax and listen to the questions and answer them in the deepest part of your heart.

Do I respect those closest to me?

Do I have compassion for them when they struggle in pain?

Am I patient?

Do I judge others harshly and focus more on the negative than the positive?

Do I ever think that the most significant people in my life are truly gifts from God?

Do I ask to be forgiven when I hurt someone, and do I forgive when another has hurt me?

Am I grateful?

Do I ever take time to say thank you to God and to others just for the gift they are to me?

What forgiveness do I need with whole groups of people?

Do I carry attitudes of prejudice toward a particular group of people?

Am I out of right relationship with people with whom I work?

With people with whom I interact?

With those on the highway?

With the grocery store cashier?

With my neighbors?

With politicians?

With those with whom I do business?

What forgiveness do I need from God?

In what ways have I tried to take control of my life?

Neglected to pray?

Let everything else come before God? (A few moments of silence)

No matter who we are or where we're from, we all need to forgive and be forgiven. Yes, it's a hard thing to do, but Jesus said that if we know someone has something against us, we need to go and be reconciled.

"If you bring your gift to the altar, and there recall that your brother (or sister) has anything against you, leave your gift there at the altar, go first and be reconciled with your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift." (Matt 5: 23-24)