Today we celebrate the feast of the holy family. Our first reaction might be that this sounds like an unreal family, a family that goes through life trouble-free. A family which consists of the Son of God and two great saints hardly seems to be the kind we could hope to identify with, let alone imitate. However, not everyone necessarily sees it that way. There is a story about a little boy's painting of the Christmas scene showing the stable, the ox and the donkey, and of course the Christ child, but on either side of the manger there knelt a "punk-rocker." His teacher said to him, "I can see the baby Jesus, but who are these two young people? And where are Mary and Joseph? Well, teacher," said the budding young artist, "they're the babysitters; Mary and Joseph have gone to bingo."

We chuckle perhaps, but yet, maybe the child's understanding of the Holy Family is closer to reality than most of us adults. True, Jesus, Mary and Joseph are a very unique family, but nonetheless, they are a real family, as real as any family in the church today, and they lived real lives. Joseph, after all, was only Jesus' foster-father, and his mother, Mary, was a very young teenager. They had a baby who was born in a barn filled with animals because they were so poor, and were traveling at the time of his birth. And not long after the baby's birth, a powerful person tried to kill him and so they had to flee their own country and live in a foreign country for a few years, where they probably didn’t even know the language. And later on, when the child was twelve years old, his parents lost him for two whole days.

The opening prayer of today’s Mass was, "Father, help us to live as the Holy Family united in respect and love." If we think about it, this is quite a dangerous request that the church offers today, because we are in effect asking for mystery, uncertainty, letting go and accepting life's pains gratefully in our living and life.

When Mary and Joseph take Jesus to the Temple to fulfill their religious obligations, they are filled with great joy. That joy was probably mixed with some trepidation that most new parents feel as they assume all the responsibilities of caring for a child for the first time. There they meet Anna and Simeon, two holy and faithful people, who prophesy about the joy, and the pain, and the sorrow, Mary would experience on account of her son. Simeon takes the child Jesus into his arms and tells Mary and Joseph that Jesus has not come for the Jews, but for the whole human race. While the parents are still trying to coming to terms with the wonderful things being said about Jesus, Simeon further says to Mary: "A sword will pierce your own soul too." Although Simeon and Anna initially cast a shadow over Mary's joy, Simeon also prophesies about the glory beyond the suffering for he sees the whole picture, rather than just a part of it.

Mary listens to Simeon and Anna without ever questioning their painful prophecies. But to be told that her child would one day be rejected must have filled Mary with great sadness. Yet, Mary and Joseph, after they fulfill their duties as new parents, return to Nazareth to raise Jesus in an atmosphere of faith and love. There is no panic or thoughts about how the hurts might be avoided. Even for the Son of God, there is no escape from the realities of life as predicted by Simeon. Mary and Joseph did what all good parents do -- they built up a home, taught their child, set a good example, provided food and clothing and above all, surrounded him with love. In Nazareth, Jesus grows to be filled with wisdom, with God's favor resting on him -- something that we all fondly wish for our children.

However, the truth of the matter is that the myth of the so-called "perfect" holy family doesn't really help our families very much, for our families are hardly perfect. All of us have stories that we could probably tell; and we have secrets that we would never tell. Most couples would probably say: Just stay in our house a few days and you'll know we're no holy family. But the Vatican Council spoke of the Christian home as "the domestic church," the Church in miniature; and that it is in and through the ups and downs of family living and life that most people are to grow in holiness. What held the family of Jesus together and made them holy is the same power that is available to us all: the bond of love.

Within each of our families, we experience the heights of joy and the depths of pain. Our belonging to a family means that each one of us -- parents and children – needs to reflect, one for the other, the selfless, limitless and unconditional love of Christ, both in good times and (even more importantly), in the bad times. The Holy Family of Joseph, Mary and the child Jesus, in the suffering and tragedy endured together, is a model for us and our own families as we daily confront the many difficulties and crises that threatened the stability, peace and unity that are the joys of being a family.

It is important to realize that Jesus is in the midst not of just perfect families (whatever they might be) but of every Christian home; in the midst of everything that happens there -- the messiness, the misunderstandings, the joys and the frustrations, and the coping with growing children and/or aging parents. He wants us to know that he is with us, whatever our problems or difficulties. Every family, however ordinary, can in its own small way be a holy family; and that is precisely what the Lord wants each of our families to be.

Today God invites every Christian family to rediscover the treasures that make it a holy family. St. Paul lists them today in his letter to the Colossians -- heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another. And then he says, "And over all these, put on love, that is, the bond of perfection."